I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
