The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
