There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
