i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
