We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
