@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
