Im at strip club and am horny
someone threw a dead crab at me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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