I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
