Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize