I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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