I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
