I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize