Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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