is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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