But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
