so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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