C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
