hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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