Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
