Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
