I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
