I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I party with great urgency now.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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