tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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