i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
