i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
