OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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