I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
