so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
