he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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