I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
