I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize