So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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