she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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