I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
