Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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