yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
