I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
