dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
