Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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