I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
