i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
