I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just invented taco cereal.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bring me that man meat
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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