Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
