Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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