And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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