Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
