Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
