I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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