I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
