Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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