4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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