Slut skills are useful in every country.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize