Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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