the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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