Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
