Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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