she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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