bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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