Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
