why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
