He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
