Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
