We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
