y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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