I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
